Ever get that niggling feeling that you are not quite the person you want to be? …. That you would really rather be someone else, sometimes!
Last year I had just that feeling.
I am the proud mother of two, rapidly growing teenage boys. They are lovely but they are also big, loud, noisy, pretty demanding and fairly reckless. They need to be kept in some kind of order and by default I had become the family voice of reason (mainly because there was no one else willing to take on the job!). I soon found myself slipping into that very undesirable role as the “fun police”. I felt if I didn’t nag, nothing would be done – if I didn’t say no, then crazy things would happen. I was constantly putting my foot down – the word “NO” was always on my lips. In short I became often irritable and to be honest… boring. My sunny, happy-go-lucky nature had disappeared under the mantle of motherly responsibility.
I didn’t like it. So I made the conscious decision to change – no longer would I be the constant nay-sayer… I was going to be the new and exciting “Fun Mum”.
Now don’t get me wrong – I am not SUPER Fun Mum, I don’t let my kids eat chocolate for breakfast and ride motorbikes to school but I have eased up a lot. I made a decision to let the little things go. I am more relaxed and am more inclined to go with the flow. I have intentionally stopped that “NO” that so often used to form on my lips and have transformed it into a “WHY NOT?”. By tweaking my ‘personality’ I was able to become the mother I want to be instead of the grumpy one I had turned into. I like Fun Mum, so she will be sticking around for a while.
Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who think this kind of change isn’t possible for them.
They believe that their personality is set in stone – that they are who they are and that is just the way it is. Like it or lump it. But the reality is, this is not true. There is always the possibility of change.
In fact we change our personality all the time, every day. Think of all the different roles you fill in a day. For me it is mostly mother, wife, coach, sister and friend.
In each of these roles I behave in completely different ways. I adapt my behaviour to my circumstances and to the people I am relating to. In essence I flip my personality to suit my needs.
If it is possible to be many different versions of yourself in one day and switch between them seamlessly, it doesn’t seem too much of a stretch to believe that you can actually choose who you want to be.
We can shape and create ourselves into the people we want to be – rather than the people we think we are.
If you don’t like certain aspects of who you are, don’t just put up with them. Go and change them.
With practice and insight you can create the energy to become any person you would like to be. It is a huge and liberating breakthrough to realise that you have this kind of control.
Because that means you can be anything you want – it’s all possible.
Don’t let the persona you created for yourself limit who you can be. Break free – and be whatever you want to be.
Why not have a think about the kind of person you would like to be.
P.S. If you want some help thinking about the kind of person you would like to be, I have created some worksheets for you that will help create awareness and get your mind working for you. All free, from me to you.
Let me know how you go.